^^ Super Junior ^^

2011-04-28T23:19:00.000+08:00

How often does anyone sees this? =)

(null)

2011-04-27T23:53:00.002+08:00

My hair looked like this when I came out from the lab this afternoon ^^

.

2011-04-27T23:51:00.001+08:00

Wow!!! I have not been blogging for ages.. I dunno where to start. Had been busy. Real busy or acting busy? Or maybe I just don't care anymore. No one reads my blog anyway.. Maybe only 2 person nowadays. I'm considering to changing it to cyworld. Ok someone's gonna bahhhhh at this. :s

I think i should start from concert. I mean mc. Ok nvm another day. Will blog about trilogy of my Super Show 3

1 April 2011
Bahh. April fools. This year's April fool seems quite. Probably we only get fooled in Secondary school and maybe Poly. Lmao.

2 April 2011
Covered haem. Lol, I came out at 2pm when work ends at 1. Great.

3 April 2011
Sunday duty! Was busy. Emo cos my Sunday partner was not around. Haha.

4 April 2011
It's hyukkie's birthday. Baby texted to ask me to tweet him. So sweet huh. (:

5 April 2011
Was on half day leave today. Had KKH appointment in the afternoon. Sissy had braces appoitment. She likes weird colours and doesn't want to put the colours I like. I'm thinking of putting braces too. But no money lah. I'ld rather spend the money on tours or cds or sj stuff or learn korean or piano or dance or ballet. Ok whatever. Abs i don wan to extract my tooth. Maybe invisalign if I strike toto. Had Hans for lunch and chicken rice for dinner. Tried gong cha. It was nice (:

7 April 2011
Today is my boyfriend Choi Si Won's birthday :) I can't celebrate with him but my heart will do that :) Saranghae (:
P/S it's geelyn's and huiyan's birthday too!

9 April 2011
Jobelle and Cheryl loo accompanied me to tanjong pagar to collect my Singles magazine. The magazine weighs a ton (: and because I have a habit of carrying thing with one hand, bahhh my arm really ache the whole day. But it's worth it cosssss the magazine has teukie:) The took-plane-here magazine cost me around $30 just for a few pages of stuff I don't understand. Haha. Loo is so irritating in wanting to open the magazine. And the epic laughter from jobelle when I gasped cos I opened it up and saw a teuk's photo card. Haha! Then we went to justacia to eat. Only me and jobelle ate cos loo had to wait for boyfriend to eat. She was nagged by us all the way. I do hope her efforts really get appreciated. Because no matter how punk I am, I really want my friends to be happy even though I know I can't be happy myself. I promise I'll do anything to make them happy. Ahhhh enough of the sentimental thoughts here, it's not daesang award. After that we went to walk around. Then I met Stefanie to collect my japan siwon and leeteuk stuff i bought from her and bandie from trulyelfs (: met carol, Eileen, mas, Diana. Roxanne nas etc etc. A bunch of elfs that went to ss3 Malaysia too. Ahhh they're so nice friends. Was sitting on the ground talking, sharing photos. I'm amazed by how a bunch of people, from dunno each other to not familiar,to becoming good friends. That's the power of the balloon. :) and I am happy and thankful for that. :) Something interesting happened, me and Eileen, aka haehae, was sitting watching shows, when suddenly, a girl, dressed in gothic cosplay clothes came to sit between us and exclaimed 'HELLO WHAT YOU ALL WATCHING? AH INTIMATED NOTE AH (note spelling, we we watching intimate note)" Ok seriously I was abit stunned dio alr. I think cos the both of us were maknae, and reaction abit slow. The rest was like looking at us not able to do anything. Haha. Daebak. Then she keep following everyone around that we had to run away (literally) and then hide from her. Lugging all the heavy things around, we look like refugees rofl. In the end managed to shake her off. Bought mac and gathered at the same place again. Ahhhh. It was a nice outing :)

12 April 2011
Met Geelyn today. Went for dinner at Plaza Singapura. Ate at Xin Wang :) Then walked around. Bought a laptop bag. Alot of things to buy but gotta wait for payday. :(

14 April 2011
Ahhhh. Went to IMM to shop for housekeeping stuff. I am seriously inspired by Lee Hyuk Jae aka Eunhyuk. I want my room to be as neat as his. (At least the look of it). So decided to do some spring cleaning. Haha.

16 April 2011
Another outing with truly! To hand in the bandie. I did something for the wives roflmao. Bought felts to make dolls. I was touching up my bandie so started the doll late. I think I'm going to take a long time. Transferred some videos from Stef. I got a picture of leeteuk from mas! Ahhh thanks alot:) We were waiting for the crazy girl to come. Oh her name is Tina. But she didn't come. Disappointed. After that we had dinner at a Jap restaurant. :)) FUN :)

17 April 2011
Ahhh gotta work today! And guess what?! I tried to act cool and fell down on the escalator. I didn't realise my toes were bleeding until I felt something sticky on my shoes. Had to bandage myself at the pharmacy. Best Sunday partner is not here so it was abit sian. Surprisingly, I was the fastest injured tracer. LOLs.

21 April 2011
Cancelled driving lesson today. Went out with Cheryl loo and jobelle. Went to justacia at Marina Square. :) Met them there cos lab ended late. Because tomorrow is public holiday. It was busy like crazy. After dinner walked around. Jobelle was disappointed that she didn't manage to get her spicy cheese popcorn from Garett. The person let us tried abit and jobelle was glad she didn't buy cos the popcorn tasted like wanton mee chilli. Rofl. Then went to étude house. The salesperson is a kpop lover. So we ended up chatting. This world is amazing isn't it? :)

22 April 2011
It's good Friday!! Happy Good Friday! Work today. Ahh with hazirah. Keke. I was supposed to meet her at 7 to have mac breakfast. But I woke up late so I bought mcgriddles for Lunch. This PH was bad bad bad. Queue was until the lift and only waiting for a queue number. We had to OT for an hour. WJ said she was glad I bought duty. Hahaha.

24 April 2011
Went to support sandy's flea at yishun. Bought some files and stuff :) one day I will go bankrupt and it'd suju's fault :/

25 April 2011
Went to bras basah with hazirah. I want to buy something to protect my posters. Haha. I'm nuts.

26 April 2011
Appraisal today. It was okay yet disappointing. I am offcially kicked out of night duty because my roster will r changing all the time as I have to cover haem :( I want to work night and E duty :( and they say bonus depends on the grade and grade improves when one is given higher responsibilities and is performed well. They say as for now, mine will be covering haem. Which means no other responsibilities and it just means my grade will never go up. Why is everything screwing my life. FML.

And Kuna was so funny. He tried to matchmake me and a pharmacist. No hope because my heart only belongs to suju. Many only teuk and wonnie.

Another funny thing. Donna called kuna and called him kun (KHUN?!) i nearly fainted.

27 April 2011
Was not feeling well. Coughed the whole night. Went to haem in the morning to prepare. My bladder nearly burst. Not gonna ever have coffee again before lab. Didn't eat anything for lunch. The cough is very bad I feel like vomiting. And because I didn't eat anything and the coffee and tea just made my gastric worse. I realised i wore a mask for most of the time today. OT again cos of cartfill. Why can't anyone ever realise I always don't claim OT?!

Went over haem to celebrate yanru's birthday. Had a first meal of the day. Still not much appetite.

Walked in the rain just now. As the raindrops fell on me, I asked myself, am I doing the right thing? I only have myself to blame for screwing my own life.

2011-04-07T22:00:00.000+08:00

시원니 오빠 새일 축하합니다!! Happy Birthday! Be happy and healthy always! God Bless you! 사랑해요! Super Junior FIGHTING! ^^

2011-04-04T22:30:00.001+08:00

은혁오빠 새일 축하합니다!! Happy Birthday! Be happy and healthy always! 사랑해요! Super Junior FIGHTING! ^^

.

2011-04-02T23:35:00.001+08:00

I am really amazed by what idols can do. Even for strangers, this is so far that they can go. I am really touched. That's why I love them. For Wonnie and hae, and for Michael. We shall all pray. Dear God, please bless Michael with good health.

.

2011-04-01T00:21:00.001+08:00

As I was typing this, I am on the train on the way home. I just saw baby's text. Actually I guessed it. All the while I know everything will not turn out right. Because when the higher your hopes and excitement are, the higher the chance if disappointment. I don't hate you really. I just feel very sad. It's like expected. I am going to stop typing because my eyes are wet from typing this. I locked my phone and saw the picture and closed my eyes immediately to let the tears well in my eyes and not fall. No one will ever know how much how much I wish to go. Really really really wish. It could be the last before the world ends. I dunno when is the last time I might see you (all), but trust me, I might give up my life. Maybe I'm not afraid of death. This is my love.

:)

2011-03-30T21:59:00.001+08:00

아이팟로 하는 블로그 이런맛이구나 ㅋㅋㅋㅋ

오빠들 보고싶어 ㅎㅎ
땅꼬마 보고싶어 ㅋㅋ

2011-03-29T22:11:00.008+08:00

I've been neglecting my blog recently.

1) I am too tired to even breathe

2) I am running away too much

3) I have too much but nothing to blog about

Okay no.3 doesnt make sense but anyway.

I am in love with numbers. It just makes things easier.

First of all. Today is my 1-year anniversary in SGH. (excluding attachment). I have dedicated 1 year of my youth to SGH Pharmily. (thanks and now what do i get?!?!?!) i ought to be promoted. jk. lols. The pharmacy is like my second home. (sometimes) I miss doing night.

OK next.There are too much things to do. I check my email as often as i can. Like refresh every 2 minutes. SGH internet hates my ipod. I cant check tweets, i cant check email blah. FML. Someone please resolve this soon before i go nuts. Oh and i check my hp as often as i can. As long as i am not in lab. lol. I have too many things to buy too! I need to save up for Korea trip because i am gonna spend all my entire savings on suju stuff probably. Just came back from KL concert. I am seriously considering going for the Vietnam one. Was telling Amanda unni that i am going. She said 'no! i dont want u to go, i want you to be save, i care for you' (with the Japan quake and such, everywhere is dangerous..) AH. i was so touched. i miss my unnis alot alot alot. I told her. but then my boyfriends would be in danger too. she said, ' then you wanna die with them?' i said ya =) haha.

Next! I discovered something that can cheer me up whenever i feel depressed. I look at my HP =) OK recently my life is happening because other than Super, its Junior =) I promise to love them forever. Because they are my everything ^^

Anyways. I broke Guinness World Record yesterday. My first ever AM prep. I came out at 2+pm. GREAT. My AM prep nearly clashed with PM prep. How funnyily ridiculous can this be. Yanru even came in to help me. I dunno how guilty i feel. They told me that for AM prep, i have to be wary of the time. I know. But i got no potential. Maybe front from the beginning, i thought too highly of myself. Maybe i am still better off be doing cartfills and such.

Went to retail today to run some errands. Went to IP to run some errands. Surprisingly i smiled alot today. 1) To patients, and 2) To the IP people i miss alot. Retail Amanda said i slimmed down. AH why is everyone telling me that. I still feel fat fat fat! Maybe i just looked haggard. I should think of a way to stop eating.

Next up. e-Awards. Super junior didnt win. SAD LIKE OMG. Thats because i didnt vote. OOPS. i am real sorry. i really wanted to but i really am too busy (or claiming to be). Big Bang won. SHINee SJ and Bigbang were running close (according to news) ahhh. thats good. at least there wasnt xxxx -.-

Okay last but not least (i gave up waiting for my hair to dry stupid). I hope you can cheer up and be happier. I just wanted to say that no matter what i do, i just wanted to make you feel better and happier. I know i failed. But i will keep trying. Because either way, it hurts.

2011-03-21T13:50:00.002+08:00

Having lunch with bodoh hazirah now at Duke. WAKAKAKA.

BITCHING is great. AND most importantly, i happen to see this.

OKAY Teukie is handsome TO THE MAX. I will remember teuk's face when i go into the lab later. SIAN.

2011-03-20T09:14:00.001+08:00

I'm blogging from Kualar Lumpur now!! This is fan service!

2011-03-17T22:34:00.005+08:00

As i finished my last post, i skimmed through my blog, and then went to baby's to read hers. and i saw her post on the dongsengs. Yeah. Dongsengs are so troublesome because apparently i sprinted to orchard from suntec to get dongseng's shirt and baby sprinted from orchard to suntec to get thumbdrive for her dongseng. haha. yeah. we could do this in Seoul and save alot of time.

And amidst this depressive moment, i managed to crack a smile at a comment ;baby hated JH ttm. hahahaha! this is hilarious!! i dunno why lah.

ok i will try to love him for ur sake baby. (omg) =.= Please love Suju too. (and be an ELF) =)

For your sake, i'll do this just for you.

이준호 사랑해요 !!!!!

2011-03-17T22:13:00.004+08:00

I need to find time to blog. Life is happening recently. Back at IP. Cartfill is so much fun though i get stress cos i check super slowly. My last cartfill was the Ward 42 era, so forgive me. =.='' It feels good to be back though. I miss everyone. Stayed back with hazirah today to help her with the med safety deco. Then went up with jielin jiejie to the ward for care plan. I've got nothing better to do seriously. Today's mood was surprisingly okay. Probably because i was wearing my wonnie hoodie from Korea =) It was still super cold though. Nickname of the day given by yushan and kuna is little red riding hood. haha! they are irritating but fun to work with. I sound like im giving my farewell speech. Well, i think i should start practicing. =( Okay. and my mood gets to be spoiled by some random apparent stuff. Its kinda obvious because when the question popped up. I go all quiet, and thinking and blank. Whatever lah. It was my stupidity and my fault in the first place. KPO. Well God knows whats best for me.....

Saturday met up with baby. Surprisingly x 10000, she want to go IT fair. Usually i get nagged when i say i wanna go IT fair. haha! Went to orchard for dinner. Had fun talking about men. and such. Psychotherapy is great. No chance to get drunk though. I've been spending too much money recently. I need to save up. (For Korea and 5th Jib). Baby meet up soon. School, FIGHTING!

Anyway, last week covered haem for 2 days. Because i was saboh-ed by Yanru -.- First of all, i would like to apologise to everyone in haem. because i seriously think i am more of a trouble than help. My prep is BLOODY slow and people have to stay back because of me. I cant do anything right. I am clumsy. I always cause MASSIVE spillage. I dont do things the right way. I feel stupid. But sometimes, i wonder, is being dumb my fault. Last but not least, I was very sad. Well again, Serves me right.

Another thing, Dear You, sometimes u are the reason why i am so skeptical about this issue. I dont want this friendship to get worse. I was asking baby what are her views of being sian diao by someone. I dunno. The feeling is scary. Its me. I am such a jerk. I get annoyed over every single thing. But sometimes u have no idea u are annoying as well. Well, tolerance has its limit.

Life is short. I know we should treasure life. But i seriously think life sucks to the max. I might get struck by lightning for saying that because, look, since the Japan earthquake, the Japanese people doesnt even get a choice or a chance to live. But i seriously think if i should give up my life in exchange for those victims' which are much more precious. I really hope God will bless them and tide them through this ordeal.

As I am typing this, alot of things are running through my mind. I dunno i don care and i don bother. Saw bro yesterday morning. He thought i was at haem. There are so much things i wanna tell him. But i don think i will ever do that lah. Its okay.

Last but not least, i hope teukie or wonnie will tweet me. Perhaps just a 'FIGHTING' might make me change my mind. I think my mood can go up to 1 trillion. I will wait.

I am so running away from everything. I dont have the mood or strength to do anything. I am so worried. =( God Save Me.

Anyeong

2011-03-15T22:16:00.000+08:00

幸福微甜
作词:方文山
作曲:周杰伦
演唱:Super Junior-M

这城市夜晚闹哄哄
人潮像快转的时钟
这不是我要的感动
廉价的妆都太浓
这感觉我不知怎么形容

街道上闪烁的霓虹
就像是短暂的笑容
能不能给我一分钟
安安静静跟你沟通
亲爱的我真的跟他们不同

话不多我天生慢熟
不是不想牵你手
只是在等你微笑点头
对你我始终温柔
请别怪我沉默害羞慢熟
为拥抱找理由
我真的爱上不罗嗦
可以很勇敢大声地说
幸福上演剧情微甜我轻尝你的脸
开心明显我们往对方的身上互黏
快乐不避嫌我们住在彼此心里面
一天天累积眷恋
幸福上演剧情微甜我轻尝你的脸
结局鲜艳故事里我们一起走很远
完美一整遍爱刚出炉正新鲜
我轻咬下永远

这城市夜晚闹哄哄
人潮像快转的时钟
这不是我要的感动
廉价的妆都太浓
这感觉我不知怎么形容

街道上闪烁的霓虹
就像是短暂的笑容
能不能给我一分钟
安安静静跟你沟通
亲爱的我真的跟他们不同

话不多我天生慢熟
不是不想牵你手
只是在等你微笑点头
对你我始终温柔
请别怪我沉默害羞慢熟
为拥抱找理由
我真的爱上不罗嗦
可以很勇敢大声地说
幸福上演剧情微甜我轻尝你的脸
开心明显我们往对方的身上互黏
快乐不避嫌我们住在彼此心里面
一天天累积眷恋
幸福上演剧情微甜我轻尝你的脸
结局鲜艳故事里我们一起走很远
完美一整遍爱刚出炉正新鲜
我轻咬下永远
你要什么其实其实我懂
那恋爱就该放轻松
跑车拉风不需要眼红
过多的掌声是种虚荣你也懂
我不会编织那美梦但却会让你很受宠
给的真心很受用

幸福上演剧情微甜我轻尝你的脸
开心明显我们往对方的身上互黏
快乐不避嫌我们住在彼此心里面
一天天累积眷恋
幸福上演剧情微甜我轻尝你的脸
结局鲜艳故事里我们一起走很远
完美一整遍爱刚出炉正新鲜
我轻咬下永远

2011-03-13T17:04:00.002+08:00

My eyes were wet listening and watching this. 오빠 사랑해

2011-03-08T23:36:00.001+08:00

I hope everything will turn out fine..

Ruiyi the elf in me FIGHTING!

2011-03-08T19:38:00.002+08:00

I'm tired. That scary feeling is back. I'm so tired that I wanna tear whenever i tell people I'm tired. I want to just cry. Depression is setting in again. No one ever ever ever understands me. Can things just work out?? Please?

2011-03-06T22:22:00.000+08:00

FMlL. Because of some 바보, I have to wake up
at 6am tomorrow. FML ttm

2011-03-02T20:40:00.002+08:00

I think people who criticise and make fun of idols or whatever just SUCKS ttm and should just drop dead. Especially when u stepped on my tail. And seriously i only want them to myself.. and let me tell you, i dont like it!

Ok, bipolar attack again.

Anyways, ruiyinie prepared 8 preps today and ended at 5.30pm. can i take this as an improvement? Of course i suck at preparing chemo. and i seriously think being a singer is easier than preparing chemo.

Ah. Lisa unni bought lots of stuff for me. i am so happy. it was very heavy but she still bought it back for me. could never be thankful enough. =) it was heavy, my arm is red, but worth it =) saranghae ^^

Ahhhh i miss being at IP. i miss my unni-s and people. now when i go back, i dont feel welcomed anymore =((

2011-02-22T23:24:00.001+08:00

Dear God, can you please fufill my only wish? Can you give me
strength and guidance to fufill that dream? Please bring me to that pathway..

2011-02-17T05:45:00.005+08:00

Songs of the week:

SHINee's song. the mv is so sad i dont even want to look at it =.=

Im not paedophile ~ i just like the song haha

This song randomly appeared as my colour tones. LOL its nice.

Someone probably gonna scream at this. The song is nice

Its 5.50am and Im going home soon =)

2011-02-14T15:08:00.004+08:00

This song is perfect for Valentine's day. Happy Valentine's Day! I'm doing night on V day. But it's okay cos I'll watch Suju shows. In a way I'm spending V day with them:))

I never had a change of heart! ㅠㅠ He is still my one and only. Nickhun looks too cute in this MV ^^

2011-02-13T23:03:00.002+08:00

OMO! TEUKIE OPPA. This MV is PERFECT if Sunny is Ruiyinie instead ^^
Ahh Yesung <3

AHH. 친차 Cutie to the max. MVs from gazzilion years ago is LOVE. 친차 ^-^Yesung with the white spects is epic. Hyukkie hair =.=

One of my favourites =)Siwonie, Ryeowookie

HAHA. Heechul ^^

Wonnie and Donghae is too hot T.T

SJM comeback. Too perfect. =) With Sungmin and Eunhyuk in the group. AHH. Hwaiting!

2011-02-13T00:45:00.002+08:00

I want to stay in Seoul ㅠㅠ

I want to turn clock around

I want to be friends with Suju ^-^

I want to buy the full discography

I want to be rich

I want Kibum to come back

I want to marry Leeteuk ㅠㅠ

2011-02-08T14:34:00.000+08:00

I'm going in now. I can fail my validation for all I care. But Dear God, please let Super Junior win the E-awards...

2011-02-01T09:39:00.003+08:00

I don't feel good, really. The kind of feeling is back. Where I want to do nothing but stay at home
and cry. I hope I get over this before new year. My laughter and smiles each day are all fake. I think I'm a genius. (guess who said that). I know im being ridiculous to the max, but I really can't help it. It's hard to smile with dimple now :( anyway. I've not been eating since Friday. As in not a proper meal. I have no appetite at all. :( it's
alright because I'll take this chance to lose weight and save money. Spent too
much money on juniorie recently. But I don't mind. Now
gonna save money just for them and Korea. Ahhhh im gonna go crazy. I really don't like this feeling! I want to isolate myself from others so that no one will talk to me. It's new year eve tmr. I don't feel well. But I can't
take mc cos it's my last practice in that stupid
isolator. I might weep.
Im still sad ttm.Get over it. Don't ask me what happen. It's ridiculous.

Last but not least, I miss Super Junior :(

2011-01-31T22:40:00.001+08:00

<a href="http://video.xin.msn.com/watch/video/singapore-super-show-3-dont-don/tng8qgqm?src=v5:embed:&fg=sharenoembed" target="_new"title="Singapore Super Show 3 - Don't Don">Video: Singapore Super Show 3 - Don't Don</a>

 <a href="http://video.xin.msn.com/watch/video/heechul-thinks-hes-a-genius/tnwvaid9?src=v5:embed:&fg=sharenoembed" target="_new"title="Heechul thinks he's a genius!">Video: Heechul thinks he's a genius!</a>

2011-01-31T22:28:00.002+08:00

<a href="http://video.xin.msn.com/watch/video/super-junior-tells-us-what-they-think-of-singapore-elfs/tnkm5qf4?src=v5:embed:&fg=sharenoembed" target="_new"title="Super Junior tells us what they think of Singapore ELFS!">Video: Super Junior tells us what they think of Singapore ELFS!</a>

 <a href="http://video.xin.msn.com/watch/video/yesung-of-super-junior-reveals-his-weird-habit/tnrlif14?src=v5:embed:&fg=sharenoembed" target="_new"title="Yesung of Super Junior reveals his weird habit!">Video: Yesung of Super Junior reveals his weird habit!</a>

 <a href="http://video.xin.msn.com/watch/video/heechul-thinks-hes-a-genius/tnwvaid9?src=v5:embed:&fg=sharenoembed" target="_new"title="Heechul thinks he's a genius!">Video: Heechul thinks he's a genius!</a>

 <a href="http://video.xin.msn.com/watch/video/leeteuk-wants-fans-to-be-careful/tn9wa39q?src=v5:embed:&fg=sharenoembed" target="_new"title="Leeteuk wants fans to be careful!">Video: Leeteuk wants fans to be careful!</a>

 <a href="http://video.xin.msn.com/watch/video/singapore-super-show-3-no-other/tnmjbwkl?src=v5:embed:&fg=sharenoembed" target="_new"title="Singapore Super Show 3 - No Other">Video: Singapore Super Show 3 - No Other</a>

 <a href="http://video.xin.msn.com/watch/video/singapore-super-show-3-sorry-sorry/tn2r1l8l?src=v5:embed:&fg=sharenoembed" target="_new"title="Singapore Super Show 3 - Sorry Sorry">Video: Singapore Super Show 3 - Sorry Sorry</a>

 <a href="http://video.xin.msn.com/watch/video/super-junior-is-in-singapore-super-junior-%E5%9C%A8%E6%96%B0%E5%8A%A0%E5%9D%A1%E5%BE%85%E4%BA%86%E4%B8%80%E5%A4%A9/tnuee146?src=v5:embed:&fg=sharenoembed" target="_new"title="Super Junior is in Singapore! Super Junior 在新加坡待了一天！">Video: Super Junior is in Singapore! Super Junior 在新加坡待了一天！</a>

 <a href="http://video.xin.msn.com/watch/video/super-junior-tells-us-what-they-think-of-singapore-elfs/tnkm5qf4?src=v5:embed:&fg=sharenoembed" target="_new"title="Super Junior tells us what they think of Singapore ELFS!">Video: Super Junior tells us what they think of Singapore ELFS!</a>

2011-01-31T22:14:00.000+08:00

2011-01-30T08:46:00.001+08:00

Super Show 3!!!!!!!!!

2011-01-28T09:40:00.002+08:00

싱가포르에 오신 것을 환영합니다

I am going to the airport with dionis. Hope i can see them. I think i am going crazy. I think i AM crazy.

I am so nervous im gonna die.

2011-01-27T23:07:00.001+08:00

2011-01-27T23:06:00.002+08:00

2011-01-27T23:01:00.003+08:00

OMG Onew! I only know onew ryeowook jonghyun kyuhyun LOL the rest i dunno -.-

Your spirit pulls me through, when nothing else will do.

2011-01-23T17:36:00.001+08:00

2011-01-23T12:20:00.002+08:00

I'm so busy !!! Busy with? Watching shows. LOL. But i have to blog lah.

OK.

Anyway, i saw baby's blog post. I have a habit of holding my ipod wherever i go. Even at work, i'll walk around checking emails with ipod. then i saw baby's fb message. and i saw the blog post. was very upset. was trying not to cry while checking EMR. i'll promise i will always try to be there if u would ever need me. in any case if u really need to talk, i'll be here. i'll wait for that courage to come. when it comes, i'll be there for you. Saranghae and take care.

The many reasons why i am always hesistating to go overseas to study is because i cant let go of anything and anyone here. i cant bear to leave my friends and family and everything here. yes i've always been mentioning im going australia. of course top reason why i don want to go is Super Junior. OK that sounds nonsensical. Seriously, i dislike the thought of going abroad for 4 years. it may seem only 4 years. but many things could happen in this 4 years. too bad. im too stupid to go into a local uni. blame yourself ruiyi.

Talking about Haem attachment. im really tired. i think i miss doing night, E duty, lunch at 2,3pm, unloading, ordering (lol), stocks... LOL.. but i'll perservere, ruiyi junior fighting. Anyway blood test results came out. Again, it was expected. it might be a good thing if i was ever kicked back to IP. no one ever told me what are the requirements to work in haem (if ever). no one asked me for medical condition. buddy asked me if i told hy. she didnt asked me. i mean, you dont go around telling people that ''hey i've got this weird blood disease?" or neither anyone does around introducing myself with my medical history? i dunno la. its always my fault. its even my fault that im born.

Went out with baby on friday, bought new year clothes and shoes. i didnt manage to get my red shoes, but nevermind, for dinner, we went to a traditional malaya cafe. im gonna eat there often cos it sells my fave food. and omg. i could never get out of HMV empty handed. bought another suju CD for $41. and i have exactly the same album. ask me why are there so much cds to bu. beats me. there like a trillion version i've yet to finish collecting. went to natures republic but didnt buy anything. cos i support etude house. phuahahaha. favourite stash of the day is the Rain's paper bag i got for baby. i think the shopkeeper wanted to kill me. haha. But seriously when i see the smile on baby's face, i am happy too. i hope going out has cheered her up a little. Don't forget our concert and Korea promise=)

However, a moment ago, looking at her blog, i know it hasnt really. haiz, tell me what can i do, really.

On a lighter note, Super Junior's concert is coming. I am soo nervous. -.- OK back to my show. blog again.

Aneyong

2011-01-19T21:40:00.003+08:00

My parcel arrived! :)

#756 way to make me happy: Something appeared in the letter box and it's for me!
#757 way: And it's SUPER JUNIOR! :)

Anyway, time is running out! I know I've got to decide quick. But I still dunno which one to choose. :(
1) Panasonic Lumix DMCTZ10
2) Sony HX5V

I'm confused! :(

2011-01-18T13:58:00.001+08:00

2011-01-18T13:52:00.000+08:00

This song just came into my mind.

Thank u SJ for giving me support before i go into lab.

2011-01-17T22:08:00.002+08:00

No one ever understands the stress I'm going through. I want psychotherapy with Siwon Donghae Leeteuk LeeMinHo, all SJ members... :(

2011-01-16T23:36:00.001+08:00

2011-01-16T23:25:00.003+08:00

Its kinda depressing when a good friend is sad. Naturally, i worry and feel sad too. Its also depressing when you dont know what is wrong. And theres no one to tell you whats wrong either. I really wish i am that kind of friend where a friend will pour her sorrows to me. Unfortunately Ruiyi, you are not that kind of friend. Anyway baby cheer up cos i'll always be with u and im always here when u need to talk.

조심하세요 Friend

2011-01-16T20:55:00.002+08:00

2011-01-16T20:49:00.001+08:00

Its been a hectic week. Life has been happening (in a wrong way)

Maybe i should start from last saturday...

8 Jan 11

Its a saturday. YES. And i have to work. but today is damm sian. Morning went to school. As in NYP for open house with peifang dionis june peiqi meihua xinhui. I must admit i really miss school. Because i don have a chance to study now, gg back to school makes me really miss mugging and exams. ok slap my face. After that went with dionis tan to look for her 2pm CD. haha! had popeyes. i like. then rushed to work. thank God it wasnt very busy. after that rushed down to Dr Ong's place for a gathering. Shuying got me SJ calendar and Kim Hyun Joong book and Jeju chocolate FLOWN IN FROM KOREA IN THE MIDST OF THE SNOW. =) Thanks girl.

9 Jan 11

Went out with baby. Went to many places. Repaired my watch. Look for CDs and look for CDs and look for CDs. hahaha. walk around orchard and city hall. went to survey for cameras. had hans and just acia. haha. FUN DAY OUT =)

10 Jan 11

Its my 1st day of training at Haematology Pharmacy. Excited yet nervous. I hope nothing goes wrong. There is something wrong with me today.
After that met YJQ for dinner. Birthday dinner? And to pass him some stuff la. I got SJ magazine again. =)

11 Jan 11

Hazirah went to haem to look for me after work. then went to 313 to look for CDs. This time its her, not me. I bought SHINee's CDs anyway. KILL ME.

Have been going out with people who stays in Pasir Ris 3 days consecutively.

12 Jan 11 - 14 Jan 11

WORK WORK WORK WORK
WORKHAHOLIC LOVERHOLIC ROBOTRONIC

15 Jan 11

SJ Calendar =)

16 Jan 11
Met ah ma, ah yi and mum after work. Then went to Singapore Flyer's with Uncle, Aunt, Grandparents and cousins. It was fun =) Had supper. Im fat!

17 Jan 11
Its nice not having to work. Did housekeeping. My rom is sparkling clean now. Means more room for SJ stuff. Not forgetting Hello Kitty and maybe abit of SHINee. RUIYI SHUT UP. Mum asked me what curtain i want. Plain or picture? Told her picture. Then she asked me what picture. Next thing i knew i just took out my SJ magazine and said this. She nearly threw flour at me i guess. =) Then helped a bit with baking. I think i cant bake to save my life. Went to sleep shortly.

I really appreciate the little rest i get amidst this hectic life. =)

2011-01-16T20:40:00.000+08:00

2011-01-11T23:21:00.000+08:00

2011-01-10T00:33:00.001+08:00

Favourite =)

2011-01-09T22:29:00.005+08:00

I cant believe this is the first time im watching Lucifer MV

Dionis Tan, this MV is scary lor

2011-01-07T00:57:00.004+08:00

2011-01-02T20:51:00.002+08:00

I spent my New Year's Eve working. After that I visited hazirah's cat at the clinic. I hope he gets well soon. Met up with kak huda, buddy and Dona at Bali Thai for a meal. Then I went home and sleep.

New Year's Day i didn't have to work. It's kinda miraculous when I say I don't have to work. I didn't realise I've been working quite abit. My friends were like, "when do u not have to work? It's so hard to ask u out!" ermm. When I win lottery and become a millionaire. But no matter how hard I work, money is never enough :(

I was wondering, what if one day, I lost touch with all my friends? Eg I am always the last one to know of any news... Hmmm.

Anw, went to orchard with suhui. Met her at Cwp and I bough SJ concert DVD -.- okay. I couldn't find the books I wanted at orchard, so it was quite a wasted trip. Raining somemore. Felt bad. I hope suhui doesn't feel like killing me! Haha. Jk. After that met up with weishan yixin n mag for dinner at yishun. The last time I went there, I forgotten if I was that time. Shall not reminisce about it la. After that me n yx went to ws house for awhile :)

Post new year! I had to work Sunday. Was super sleepy and cursing myself while crawling out of bed like why the hell did I buy duty. But thinking of the money, aiya, what to do... :( poor girl what.

This Sunday was not bad! Because the PTa are pro! Haha. Pharmacists are good also. But I had cramps the whole day. It was excruciating painful. The first time ever in my life. I could barely stand. And I nearly died. And rip open the CD cupboard for morphine lol. And luckily it wasn't busy so I sat down for a while.. Was so painful that I felt damm sleepy. Had no choice but to pop mefenamic acid and famotidine. But it took the drug 2 hours to work. Thanks.
Then went to Manhattan with haz and Cheryl Lim (great team of the day and thank God I felt better). :)

My mum was baking Chinese New Year cookies when I got home. Isn't it a bit too early? Lol! But seriously it's not bad. Lol. I'm so tired I can die. Gotta sleep. With a million things undone! Argh I hate myself!

2011-01-01T13:43:00.005+08:00

I admit that i feel sad that SJ did not win the Daesang. Because Bonamana is the highest! Watching the award is still alright. But looking through the other footages on Youtube about not winning the award, i admit i had tears in my eyes =( i dont want to watch anymore because crying on New Year's day is a no-no =(

Its not fair, please do something about it. Give it back!! ='(

SUPER JUNIOR!! =(

2011-01-01T12:25:00.003+08:00

AHH. Eunhyuk is so cool.. And didnt anyone realise that Super Junior's performance is different from the rest? The have fire (-.-''), they have the big big SUPER JUNIOR logo on the stage. =) My BFs!!! Woots. And they should have the Daesang! ARGH. I think baby agrees with me =)

I was watching the award with my mum and i was really amused when she says that Leeteuk is handsome. haha! and she tells my aunt that i like all of them even the fat one. haha.

SJ FIGHTING!

2011-01-01T02:50:00.006+08:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

HAPPY 2011 =)

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO SJ !

새해복 많이 받으세요 =)

New Year ~ New blog skin =)

Just watched the 2010 Golden Disk Award. I already know about the results but watching it live is more sad.
=(

The Disk Daesang was meant for SJ. This is not comments from a SJ-biased person. Read comments and reviews online. It wasnt...fair.... =( I feel sad for my boyfriends.

ARGH can i cry! Give me back the Daesang!

2011-01-01T02:49:00.000+08:00

2010-12-31T18:56:00.005+08:00

My New Year's wish is to see Super Junior as a whole (with allllll
members) again and more of their shows and movies and music etc :)

SJ fighting!! :))

I hope next album and subsequent ones will have 13 people like before, if not at least 12!

2010-12-29T20:59:00.001+08:00

I hope upon a million stars that Miss Tan will go SJ's concert with me. I think she is the best person....

2010-12-29T00:10:00.001+08:00

I think its snowing in Korea now. I wonder what is Super Junior doing...

2010-12-11T01:36:00.002+08:00

I'm blogging from 台中 (Taichung). LOL cool right!

:(

Anyway, being overseas is about relaxing. While relaxing, alot of things came into my mind.
I've done alot of thinking. Hopefully you'll know how I feel if you ever see this.

I know you don't read this blog anymore. But nonetheless,
I just want to let you know that I don't ask for anything more. I just need
someone to be there for me when I am upset, someone to share my joy with, someone
that I can talk to, a shoulder to lean on when I'm tired, someone to hug when I'm feeling sad.

And all I ask for is you. I don't need any luxuries, I don't care even if you are poor
or whatever. Because love can overcome all. I don't want anything else.

I've been wishing for the same wish for years...

2010-12-05T23:46:00.001+08:00

A trilogy of my 20th birthday...

30 Nov 10

Went out with my baby, dionis tan to celebrate my birthday... Went to orchard for my favourite - Japanese curry rice! After that had ice cream, the ice cream is driving us nuts because it melted very fast and it was drizzling a little also. After that walked around, bought some things and then took some pictures of the lightnings... :)

3 Dec 10
Pre-birthday!
At work, buddy and shiping gave me present number 1. It was a clipboard. A very special trademark. Haha.
Had a birthday celebration with family at AMK hub's Shabushi. Food was okay. After that went home to cut cake. Cake was bought my sis bf. It was the fairlady cake my poly friends bought for my Year 2 birthday! :)

4 Dec 10
Today my age officially starts with 2. Omg.
Well I didn't apply for leave, so I had to work. Was being sabohed by hazirah, she told me to wear purple while everyone else wears pink. Haha. But she goondo cock up the plan cos she doesn't know it's winnie's bdae as well and happily tell her all the plan. Haha. I had presents from jobellea and haz and gang. Cheesecake from haz was nice. Jobelle made a modified and verified cake for Winnie. Was nice too. I have a lovely blank card as well -.-
After that went to vivocity with hazirah. I wanted to change money for Taiwan. She didn't manage to buy her crocs. Ok I'll go taiwan and look for her :)
After that went home and have a shower before heading to meet 2e4 gang.
Met weishan suhui and szehuey first. Plan today was to surprise mag. Ermmm its my birthday instead! LOL.hAhaah. No la. Nvm beause she has a lovely boyfriend who wants us to plan this for her. Ruiyi needs to wake up. Anyways Thanks to yixin and zigui that everything went smoothly. Well quite... Food was okay. We were playing our own music cos they don't have music. And I can't stand a minute without super junior. So yah.
Hmm was a lil bit ermmm LOL cos our plan abit ... hahahahahhaahhahah blaming the 'government' and such.
After that went to walk around to take pictures. Ended up at starbucks for cakes. I received a scrap book. I like it so much. Alwaya wanted to make
One and Have always hoped someone will make one for me. Haha. Maybe if it was whoever then better. Ok stop disgressing the topic. Yeah.
Overall, I had a fun night. This year's really new. We managed tonstay out so late that my bdae overlapped with mag's.
What's birthday celebrations without a bunch of crazy 2pm 2am secondary school mates?
7 years of friendship and counting ... <3
Thank you loves.

2010-12-04T00:27:00.001+08:00

Life isnt fair. How come you treat others different from the way you treat me? What happened to the us 1 year ago?
Even though last year was alao like this, at least it wasnt that bad as this year. at least there was an sms last year.

WAKE UP

2010-12-04T00:05:00.001+08:00

Happy 20th Birthday to me :D

2010-12-02T21:11:00.002+08:00

1 Dec 10

Well I start at 12.30 pm today. Lecture at 8am, I still went nonetheless. It's 1st december! Which means I'm Turning 20 in 4 days time. As I look back, 20 years and nothing accomplished. :(

2 Dec 10

I wasnt in the right state of mind today. i badly wanted to go back to 365 days ago. how come its so different? how come this year you forgotten?
Was very very sad when i think about it.

Luckily i saw laoda on the way home (in pink) which managed to cheer me up a little...

2010-12-01T21:22:00.000+08:00

Myanmar Medical/Dental Mission Trip 2010

Back from my mission trip in Yangon, Myanmar. It was a fufilling and meaningful trip. I will be going for more of these trips if there is in the future. Hopefully i can go with some close friends. Its great to help those who needs our help badly.

Ok. A summary of the 5 days there=)

Day 1 - 21st November 2010

Woke up at 4am!!! Reached the airport at 5am. Had breakfast with mama. SMS the relevant person. Met up with the second team people. Walked around the airport with winnie, found a lost handphone at Cocoa Tree. Of course we didnt koped it. Brought it to customer service. Was wondering 'shit, myanmar no autoroam, i wouldnt know even if the person wants to give me $1million. haha!'

Plane ride is always fun. I was crazy enough to buy a watch on the plane.

Reached Yangon Airport. The rooms werent ready when we reached the hotel, we deposited luggages at the hotel and proceeded to the Orphanage at Kyanmar. It was really fun to be greated by the team 1 people. All equipments were set up already. Had lunch, then its ready for work!

The children at the orphanage are so cute! Me and winnie was in charge of dispensing the medications. Of course i cant speak myanmar language, we've got nice translators to help us with it. And dispensing here is so much simple because we don't really have to tell them details.

I got a chance to bathe a pair of siblings with scabies. Together with shuying and Dr Lim, we PPE-ed and gloved ourselves. Halfway through, Dr Lim was like 'did you double glove?' i was like thanks, you didnt tell me. lol

After a hard day's work, we had dinner at a restaurant. It was at this forest looking place. Food was okay.

After that, a few of us went to the Pagoda. Its so beautiful! The lights are magnificant. I heard it is made of real gold. I'll upload some pictures (if i ever get the time). There was this special light at the tip where you can see different colours at different angles. Red, green, white, yellowm orange? We also managed to see the biggest one. Seriously, i saw blue and purple. =)

Damm tired when we reached hotel. Gonna be another long day tmr!

Day 2 - 22nd November

Had breakfast in the hotel. breakfast was not bad.

Today im all alone at the orphanage, winnie is off to the hospital. i had difficulty coping because i cant really speak, mintzu is busy helping the doctors as well. she wrote myanmar words for me. but kids cant really read, so sometimes, i really struggle for help. on the other hand, the hospital team so shiok LOL. they ended early and even had time to shop and internet. ROFL. the kids over at the orphanage are so cute. they sang for for like dunno how long. they walked us to the gates and they never stopped waving to us when we left in the bus. heartwarming.

dinner was at a dunno what place. food was okay. at the end of the meal, they gave us this haw thorn looking asam thing. everyone thinks its nice and ending up buying many packets. good marketing skills huh.

Another busy day. i just want a good bath and sleep!

Day 3 - 23rd November 10

My 1st day at the hospital. Work is about the same. But there as lesser people. We didnt start as early i think. Were playing with the stethoscopes and sphygomanometer. I learnt how to measure blood pressure with this method, (more accurate than automatic ones ok =)) i nearly burst winnie's arm. listened to lungs as well. i'll learn how to listen to the heart the next time.

had time to go in and peep at the doctors doing consultation when i have the time. mintzu gave us some leafy looking stuff to eat. and heard that it makes one high. -.- i hope i dont faint

went to visit another new hospital during lunch time. the hospital is still undergoing renovations. dialysis centre being built. i cant imagine another ward 42 haha~ am glad that medical treatments are improving. after that we visited a school for the children. undering renovations as well. i really thank those generous donators.

after that went back to the hospital for lunch. then back to work again!

as expected, we ended early. went to Boujouk market. Dr Beng and shuying bought some grasshopper looking insect thing to try. i'd rather die. -.- the strawberry dunno what drink is nice! even though it tasted abit salty. wanted to get jade but they were closed =(

at night, mintzu bought us to some clubbing. i nearly died because 1) i cant dance, 2) the smoke is making me get bronchitis. but overall, its kinda interesting looking at strangers and talking about them and looking at the doctors, dentists and aunties dancing their life away.

by the time we got back, i had to shampoo my hair twice from the smoke. i am too tired to talk.

Day 4 - 24th November 10

Woke up very very very eary despite the lack of sleep because we have arranged to see sunrise and visit the padi fields. We didnt manage to do any harvesting as planned because harvest period is over. -.- we managed to cut the grains instead. it was really beautiful. the road was a difficult one from all the tall grains and slippery prob due to the rain. but everything was worth it cos it was really nice. now you understand li li jie xin ku huh. haha.
After that went back to the hotel for a quick breakfast and headed to hospital. work ended early as well. there was this particular kid i remember vividly. he was only aboyt 5 to 6 years old. his fingers were probably caught in a machine or something. he was yeiing in excruciating pain and u can literally see the fingernail coming off. there was nothing we could do. Dr Teddy Beng gave him an LA (taken from dental side -.-) to block the pain. He told me he was to go to a hospital to get it amputated. i felt very sad. the whole finger was black already and the wound is already one day old :( for once i felt like a doctor or nurse lol cos i helped Dr beng in the mini op. suddenly i had the inspiration to become a doctor. =) well i always do.

After lunch, headed back to the hotel for a rest. when me and winnie went back to our room, it wasnt done yet. -.- went to shuying's room and caught 2pm and shinee on tv =) went back a while later and realise room still wasnt done. went out for a walk. bought lots of dvd. =) esp superjuniors lol. after that went to hotel and took a long bath. then took a nap.

For dinner, it was at the restaurant at the hotel. The Mayor came. Dr Beng pangseh us. but had vegetarian instead. hahahahahaha roflmao.
After dinner, we went to cafe near the hotel. wad drink and then went back to hotel. (Drink as in coffee and lime juice)

Day 5 - 25th November 10
Its our last day! No R&R thanks to someone. Me winnie Dr tan and wife and oh crap i forgot her name, we went back earlier than the rest. didnt go to Inle lake with the rest thanks to argh whatever long story. (went back to work the next day with a black face)
We went to boujouk market to buy jade. then had lunch at a cafe. the beehoon is super nice!
after that went to the yangon museum. we were really amused because we cannot bring any electronics into the museum. -.- well i had my ipod and hp in my pocket all the time -.- after that went to airport and walk around.
touched down singapore around 10pm. mama came and fetch me.
Dead tired.

Overall i enjoyed myself very much. It was very fufilling and enjoyable. No one can understand the art of helping and giving. I will definitely go next year again =)

2010-11-28T00:29:00.000+08:00

Dear ___, I hope you won't forget about my birthday this year...

2010-11-27T01:36:00.002+08:00

I'm back from Myanmar. Had alot of inspirations. Might want to study Medicine. LOL! Sounds like I think too highly of myself.

Will update details of the trip in a short while :)

2010-11-17T23:07:00.002+08:00

I am living each day with fear. Dear God, please fufil my wishes...

2010-11-16T19:26:00.000+08:00

슈퍼주니어 :D

2010-11-16T00:51:00.001+08:00

SUPER JUNIOR!!!!!!

2010-11-10T22:14:00.000+08:00

我们之间不可能再回到从前

2010-11-07T23:53:00.003+08:00

I am very sad. I really don't know. I didn't mean to be annoying.
Life is, when your best friend doesn't treat you as best friend anymore...
I am not being childish, I am really upset :( sorry...

2010-11-01T18:27:00.000+08:00

I'm sick!! Again!!!! :(

2010-10-31T20:53:00.000+08:00

Happy Halloween (:

2010-10-30T21:51:00.002+08:00

Went for a flu vaccine shot yesterday. Please say something nice to me because i think I'm so brave. Now random red spots are appearing all over my body and the itch is killing me.I hope this is not a flu vaccine allergy.

2010-10-26T15:16:00.001+08:00

I have severe short term memory, but how come
I still can't forget the fact that I still love you?

2010-10-24T23:00:00.002+08:00

Dear God, can you tell me what more can I do. I've already tried my best. I dunno what happened half a year ago, but I am already trying my best to salvage this. I am going crazy in no time. Eveything I do is of no use at all. Everything single word just breaks my heart. But I can longer feel anything because I'm used to it. Tell me what to do.. I'm too tired to even cry. What have I done wrong? I just want to go back before. Or maybe I don't have the rights to pursue my own happiness..

='(

2010-10-24T00:03:00.001+08:00

Dear xxxx xxxx xxxx, you know what? To me, you're still the best (:

2010-10-23T23:55:00.000+08:00

Grrrrrrrr. If I go, I'll look like an idiot. If I don't, I'll feel bad. FML.

2010-10-23T14:41:00.004+08:00

I've been taking buses home these 2 days. The route home is long. But I like it because I have a longer
time to escape from reality. It doesn't make sense. But I just like it.

I think God was trying me everything is over. Because first bus trip, i was back home from night in the morning. I stood outside the shopping centre but it wasn't open because it was too early. Second bus trip, I was going home from E duty. Left pharmacy at 10plus. This time, the shopping centre was also closed cos it was too late. Thanks.

For Your Information. 我不是在拍 MV, neither am I auditioning for star search. I stone when I'm upset. Because i'm trying reminisce all those things, that even if I shorten my life by a few years, it'll never happen again.

2010-10-22T21:53:00.002+08:00

Am at the pharmacy going home now. i am going to take the bus.

PS: Usually when i take bus home, something is not right...

BYE

2010-10-21T18:31:00.002+08:00

我不是一个容易放弃的人. But this time I already tried my best.

Everything happens for a reason. This time as well. I'm glad it wasn't as bad as I thought. But even though I could "oh-I-see", every word u said, every single alphabet, pierced through my heart. It was as though u literally took a long knife and stab in, then plunge it out with all your might. I couldn't think of anything less cliched to describe my feelings now. But that's the truth. Because other people don't know how i feel at all. Think I'm a emo kid or whatever la, I don't care.

2010-10-21T17:39:00.002+08:00

I took a bus home today. I didn't feel like taking the train.

The bus stopped at something interchange. Good game. The exact spot. That darn place where we walked together. The memories flowed through me releasing pain slowly into me like slow torturing death.

想回道过去

2010-10-20T02:27:00.006+08:00

I'm sleepy. 3 more long long hours to end work. My eyes are closing any minute. And i can't fall asleep cos the imrs keep coming. Rawrs.

Just now I scalded myself while making a drink. Not really scalded myself. But it's just that the hot water from the water dispenser splashed. And ouch. And then, I suddenly thought of someone. Which I begin to feel sad again. I thought of him. I remembered once on the phone, I told someone that I scalded my hand while drinking tea. I forgotten why he said because that was freaking long ago, but I think it was something nice? I know I will never hear that again. But seriously I really wish to go back to before. I know we were getting nowhere. But at the very least I feel blessed to be with you. Just a meal and staying by your side and looking at you is enough to keep me smiling even in my dreams.

One more thing, as I was looking through my phone, I saw those messages. Those comforting texts you used to send me. Those encouraging words, I'll never hear them again. Right now. I stared at my phone and kept waiting, but all I received were disappointments. My phone never beeped.

I already tried to let go. But I tried my best, maybe one last time, to go back to before. But I guess everything was just wishful thinking on my part.

It wasn't my fault. I was about to let go until u reappeared. Or rather I have not really let go. Deep down I have not forgotten at all. That why when u reappeared, the hurt was greater.

I don't want anything more, just someone to love and vice versa.

2010-10-18T15:10:00.000+08:00

Sorry, I was just in a very bad mood ='(

2010-10-17T21:17:00.005+08:00

I was waiting the whole day. Then my hp beeped. I opened it, sending a smile on my face. I knew it. I always knew. :) it was this "special-ness" we share. The never ending time lagging boliao lil conversations.

惨了

2010-10-16T13:48:00.004+08:00

I looked at the roster. Was feeling sad. :( but i dunno why do I feel sad. Lol. Well I shouldn't be. And why do I even care. This 没缘分 might be a good thing. At least it keeps me from falling deeper. Like I said, my heart is not ready for
someone new.

Wait. Speaking of someone new for my myocardium, (LOL although I
don't really want, ya you know who I'm talking abt), I could actually continue falling deeper until
someone!!!!!! whom I have buried into the deep tissues in my myocardium, suddenly appeared. And making me more miserable when I am
trying to get over.

Great.

2010-10-15T22:41:00.000+08:00

Dear ____

Thank you for walking into my life once again, and this time causing greater and deeper hurt.

2010-09-27T22:02:00.002+08:00

It's been a month ='(

2010-09-27T01:39:00.001+08:00

歌名:原来
演唱:林俊杰
专辑:曹操
词:张思尔/林秋离曲:林俊杰

街灯绊住我眼前下一步
拉长的影子嘲弄的回顾
电话亭仍留着你的话
一句话掉一滴泪
今晚的我会是如何入睡

原来最疼痛的表情
竟是没有情绪
原来最残忍的画面
可以甜言蜜语
我不懂得如何更爱你
影子讽刺地
跟着我难分难离
原来最孤单的是
我还是那么想你
原来最悲哀的是
我不能面对自己
你收的干净
我也会不留一点痕迹

林俊杰&金莎 - 期待爱

男:My Life 一直在等待
空荡的口袋
想在里面放一份爱
Why 总是被打败
真的好无奈
其实我实实在在
不管帅不帅

男:想要找回来 (女:想要找回来)
男:自己的节拍 (女:自己的节拍)
男:所以这一次
合:我要勇敢大声说出来

合:期待期待你发现我的爱
无所不在我自然而然的关怀
男:你的存在 (女:你的存在)
男:心灵感应的方向
合:我一眼就看出来
是因为爱

合:我猜你早已发现我的爱
绕几个弯靠越近越明白
男:不要走开 (女:不要走开)
男:幸福的开始就是
合:放手去爱

男:想要找回来 (女:想要找回来)
男:自己的节拍 (女:自己的节拍)
男:所以这一次
合:我要勇敢大声说出来

合:期待期待你发现我的爱
无所不在我自然而然的关怀
男:你的存在 (女:你的存在)
男:心灵感应的方向
合:我一眼就看出来
是因为爱

合:我猜你早已发现我的爱
绕几个弯靠越近越明白
男:不要走开 (女:不要走开)
男:幸福的开始就是
合:放手去爱

合:幸福的开始就是放手去爱

2010-09-26T04:07:00.002+08:00

Sometimes, I wish I can scream loudly and shout "brother! They bully me!"

But he'll probably say none of my business...

Life sucks ttm

2010-09-26T02:32:00.001+08:00

SERIOUSLY, I DONT LIKE YOU!

2010-09-24T01:17:00.001+08:00

The time now is 1.17am... And counting. I'm having a splitting headache. But I will hang on. LOL (I have to duh). I'm not that kind who will complain of night duty. Not like those bimbos. I won't. Never. Because "night is the time for you to learn". If the pharmacist are prepared to do night. Why can't we?

Bodohsss :)

2010-09-16T23:52:00.002+08:00

1) I have been disappointed for 3 days in a row.

2) I think from now onwards, my everyday afternoon duty is going to ncc. Lolxxx

3) By the way, can I know why 你不理我了? :(

4) Bluff me one.

5) :(

2010-09-14T22:36:00.004+08:00

I was very sad today. Everything i wished for doesn't seem like it's going to come true. I am greatful. But I wish u could be kinder to me. Maybe that's the best you could go. I shouldn't ask for more. I'm not all that adorable and lovable anyway.

Most of the time, i'm transparent and forgotten. When I hear my name, it isn't anything good. It's either i have to run errands, or others think I'm not doing my job well
enough.

Today was crazy. I finished topping up at 2.30. So naturally lunch ends at 3.30. And I have to do returns, go ASC, go NCC . But nobody understands. There's just these much I can do. I am only person. I do hope I can split myself up. Would like
to thank those who help do the returns too:)

Today dinosaur said something that made me upset. Not upset upset, but sad upset.

Today Juno said something I accidently overheard. Maybe it WAS meant for us to hear. and gosh seriously i feel like giving her one F tight slap. Wake up. Your best friend is No Longer here. Although l always say he'll support me, but seriously I don't think he will la.

And last but not least. I went to NCC to
settle a case. But I went back disappointed. :(

What a day! FML

2010-09-12T23:35:00.000+08:00

I realized, I went teh-peng-less for 2 WEEKS

Omg. Was that a miracle?

2010-09-11T15:17:00.003+08:00

TODAY! is saturday. just now, i sat down and type the prescriptions. halfway through, i suddenly froze. because something came into my mind. i thought of someone. ):

i miss the gigantic blue nike water bottle sitting on the table...

that feeling is coming back...

i survived 2 weeks

struggling

='(

2010-09-05T21:47:00.004+08:00

Today's Sunday was not bad. Manageable. Because I am pro. But some weird things happened that really scared me. For once I wish brother was here. Because I know superman will come and rescue me not like other people. I was really lost and scared and dunno how to react. If Lao da was there, he would surely help me (maybe not) and I won't be scared of anything :(

I wish buddy will do sunday duty with me one day. And we can relish the craziness of working in ip. Mouth move hand also move. Talkcrap and shout across the pharmacy.

I remember the other time, when I went to haemato to collect something, donnabel disturb me, she said buddy nah pack huh. Wah I really wish I can stay there and pack lor. Don't feel like going back at all. Haha. Nevertheless I wish sooo much that I can go haem for training, I know chances are slim :(

I miss working with buddy and brother :(

2010-08-28T21:00:00.007+08:00

Last night, i cried myself to sleep. The pain was unbearble. I cant get to sleep at all. All the images were flooding my mind. At first it wasnt that bad. I was alright, until i clicked it open. The tears just came. I couldn't stop crying. I literally cried like crazy until for dunno how long then i managed to doze off. I remember waking up in the middle of nowhere with a splitting headache and my head super giddy and my eyes swollen mad. Managed to pop 2 tabs of paracetamol and prochlorperazine, and went back to bed again, but cant get back to sleep. I didnt want to think about anything. I just wished all these wasnt true.

BrotherLew's last day at SGH on friday. Thank God for the miracle that i managed to change night duty. Was very very depressed these few weeks. So much so that i wish all these will not happen, i wanted to make the best of the last week. On friday, early in the morning i went to work with a heavy heart. Then i saw laoda on my way to block 4. he asked me if i wanted a drink. i said yeah teh peng. (with a huge smile) so he went to get it while i go up first. when i reached the pharmacy, he told me my tea on his table. man, that is enough to make it cry. i took my teh peng and went to cheryl loo. and the tears i have been holding back for a week just came like crazy. i hope i didnt shocked her out of her wits. well this was the second time she hugged me while i cry. thank you girl. seriously, that teh peng was the best in 20years, better than IV fentanyl. I was in charge of walk-in imrs today. And the imr came in like crazy. i happened to be the only one typing, i cannot concentrate at all, i'm thinking, die today sure RMS. and lao da happened to be the one checking the imrs. suprisingly i think i typed a hundred imrs that day but he didnt 'ruiyi did u type this?' thinking of that, i'd rather he say this to be everyday. =( throughout the whole day, he was very smiley, very nice to me. i asked cheryl loo why last day then treat me so nice. i wanted to cry again. i'd rather he yell at me. the whole day i was busy asking brother questions about imr. if i dont ask, there wont be chance anymore. he was very nice, his words were very assuring, making me even more sad. i hope he doesnt think im annoying because i literally 'brother!' every 5 minutes/every imr. From now onwards, whenever i open any imr, the first person i will think about is brother. i will never forget anything he has taught me. there wont be anyone to ask whenever i see an oncology W48 script. i will calculate the morphine doses myself. i will never see brother's name on the ward board again, and will not wish he is doing ops that week. no one will be beside me when i type because the best typing team is gone. my neighbour is not my neighbour anymore. and i will promise to avoid going to the back and opening my locker lest i think of him. =( there wont be anyone to ask for help while doing night in the middle of the night. no one to complain to about the animals and spirits, fruits and vegetables. no one to encourage me, no one to assure me that its going to alright. my 2 person that i trust most is gone, how am i possibly going to survive?

Yes, i agree, i have not known brother nor worked with him for very long. nonetheless, it doesnt take me long to see who can be trusted who cant be, who's good who's bad. With brother around, i dont have to be scared of anything because he is always the person i can turn to for help. even though he likes to dao me, and doesnt smile back when i smile at him, and just 'mm' when i say good morning. and sometimes i get so fed up that i will be in bad mood the whole day. the day when i first stepped into ip, he doesnt look the most friendly, like the sort that will scream at people when they make mistakes. he always carries such a fierce and stern face that i think the whole world is scared of him. i am not. (now lah), last time maybe. because i know actually he is very nice =) . i know most of the PTs were scared out of their wits by him, and everytime i see him talk to them, i know something is amiss and i will go to them and say, got a shock of your life right, its okay lah, my brother is liddat one. i will miss the times when i go up for ward dispensing with laoda. man, i wish i can have a quarter of his brain. the rest of my friends were like 'huh? you went dispensing with him? really ah? lol. and everyone passes the phone to me when they have to call him. i am glad to do it of course, because he is my brother, u too right buddy? and i will never hesitate to help brother and his patients, eg having to walk to ncc under the scorching sun to get some 'nibs'. because he is my brother and i will help him no matter what...

Well, all these will not come true anymore.they shall be part of the wonderful memories in ip. and the great memories are going to stop here. When buddy left, i thought i still have bro. now brother gone, im going to study already. because the 2 person i trust more arent here with me anymore. =( how much more blows can i take?

I will not forget the first and last PH, first and last stock take, all the psychotherapy, lame jokes, rubbish, teasing, jay chou 1 and 2, 酒窝, etc. i will miss them as much as i miss brother.

Brother, all the best in everything you do. remember i was the saddest person on earth when u left. and always remember there is someone crazy in block 4 and one in block 7 supporting you forever. more kopiOpeng hot one, and teh peng hot one, and milo peng hot one and cai fen at housemen. JIAYOU. keep in touch. i will go ncc often. and i might work there one day. the 3Bs will be reunited.

Last but not least, i will be strong. =) and brother will be part of IP forever. =)

2010-08-28T00:00:00.000+08:00

I am feeling terrible now... I can't go to sleep :'(

2010-08-26T23:33:00.001+08:00

Dear Friday, can u don't come?

2010-08-25T22:17:00.001+08:00

I very sad lahhhhhh

how come people can treat it like nth happen ?